Everyone knows that baby names have gotten a little ridiculous. People have crossed over the line from creativity to they fell and hit their head. I decided to talk about this cause as many may know my BFF is pregnant, and apparently I am the other parent, since there is no daddy… (we will leave that alone!) So yesterday she asks me what I think about the name Justice.

My answer was NO! So then she says how she likes the name, but I can name the baby. So naturally I thought about all the horrible names… and I even researched it. I have come across some pretty odd shit. I agree that average names do not appeal to me but if you knew names I have come across on a daily basis working in social work, you would die.

True story, in Florida a girl had two kids, both boys their names were pronouced

Oran-gelo and Ya-Lan-gelo she spelled the orangejello and yellowjello. Yes fucking colored Jello, wow and are you surprised that she didn’t have a high school education.

Still in shock from that…? Here are some names of celebrity children:

Diva Muffin (Frank Zappa)

Dusti Raine (Vanilla Ice)

Ya’ Majesty , Messiah , King (T.I.)

Denium and Diezel (Toni Braxton)

Kal-el Coppola (Nicholas Cage)

Seargeoh and Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stalone)

Track (Sarah Palin)

Really? What’s next for names Kotex and Tampax? Why not??? You can name a boy Dick, Gay or Gaylord, Butch (which is slang for Dyke) oh one of my favs, Huckleberry… really? For girls some of the cheesy names for girls Chasity (if you name your daughter this she’ll likely be a whore) Honesty ( a pathological liar) Justice ( this will be great in court or getting booked into jail when she becomes um nothing… yeah Sonya Justice Holmes… um NO DUDE!) Then we have Cherry, Mary Jane (LMAO), Fanny, Pansy…..

Yes my favorite name I found (and yes you can google this) is Abcde… the first 5 letters of the alphabet… and how do you say that? Well from what I found there are 2 ways….

Ay-Bay-Kay-Day or Ab-Sa-De….

Wow! And we wonder why price said screw it and became a symbol!