Maybe I am a little cynical today… this is something I could not deny… but my feelings are hurt. I am more the type of girl, that if I cry then I get mad because I am crying. All it takes is one tear… I don’t cry for much, yet I caught myself shedding a tear today during a conversation through messenger… then I was furious with myself, like really? I was pissed because why the fuck did I cry? Why do I even care? As much as we as humans like to have friendships, companionships and any type of relationship with others, at the same time we put ourselves at different risks just to care about a person. And no matter whether you care about them as a person or for more and deeper reasons, you still put yourself out there…

That is not really a bad thing, yet maybe there should be rules. Like a freakin contract before you enter a friendship or a relationship. I don’t know… I am just as lost as the next person. I know how to be a better person for myself and for my kids, but when it comes to other people I am so lost! I think that in any personal relationship that I have, I don’t ask for much. I am not a taker.. I am more of a giver, I always try and help people, and show my appreciation for their friendship, yet when it comes down to it I feel like they just take for granted the fact that I am in any part of their life….

Do you know why this irratates me, because you don’t just meet random people, everyone that comes into your life was destined to be there, if even for only a minute. But what I don’t understand if they are destined to only be there for a short time, why do they leave you with some sort of pain or emptiness. Why can’t you be left with the laughter, the smiles…. instead you are sitting there with tears in your eyes, fighting them trying to keep them from escaping. And now you may remember the good times… but when you think about that person you feel that pull in your chest.

Why do we allow this? Why can’t we just say oh well and move on, I guess that would mean that we never cared. I don’t know I am conflicted about so many feelings… and yet I am at the point where I might just want to become an ice princess for a little while.

So maybe I will feel better if I tell you what I think is overrated …. (at least right now, to me!)
1. His and Hers Towels
2. PDA… fuck that mushy shit!
3. Valentine’s Day
4. Romance in the beginning of a relationship
5. Telling someone you miss them, when you don’t even know what it feels like to miss someone
6. arguing
7. crying
8. feeling sorry for yourself
9. The amount of different Wedding Magazines at a single checkout line
and what is not overrated….

1. The TRUTH
2. Just being real about your feelings with people
3. Really caring about people and their feelings

Yes, maybe I am jusy cynical today… and tomorrow will be better… this I know, yet today I will sit quietly and think how someone has made me feel and how I don’t resent it, but I am let down…

I know not all of my loyal followers are from my area, but if you were I know you would  be at an event held by my job this evening! Not too many of my friends (at least you guys) know that I work for a non profit that helps physically and sexually abused children, so today I think it is only fair to “blast” about the event we are having tonight!

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So, there is a good chance that I will step up my blog posting game, considering I am posting from my crackberry at 6:45 in the morning.
So last night I went to a special screening at our new IMAX theater. I won the pass for two people to go see Under the Sea 3D, from work. It was pretty much a documentary about coral reefs and undersea life. It was so very awesome to watch this movie in 3D, it really felt like I was deep sea diving.
I guess I felt like a kid, because it was so real and so cool, I think that it is important in our busy lifes as responsible over stressed adults to enjoy ourselves and be amused and facinated like we are children by something that is really not important, but just cool!
So this is my wisdom for the day! The wisdom that radiates from me when I am exhausted at 6:45 in the morning and patiently awaiting for the coffee to brew!

I have been called a lot of things recently, and one of those things had been “selfish.” I resent that, only because, I always do for everyone and go out of my way to make people happy and help them when they need it. Now, this hasn’t changed, but I pumped my breaks a little and I am focusing on me (and the kids of course).

In celebration of what I like to call “Me!Me!Me! Time” last night I went and signed up at Gold’s gym. As everyone knows I like doing Pilates and Yoga at home, but since I am living with someone else, I can’t, I lack the room and time. I have always wanted to go to the gym, because it can be like an escape to me. They include the daycare, so my girls will enjoy themselves will I better myself.

So, I am not sure how I am going to feel about this… or how my body will react, but I am very excited to do this, included in my membership I get a personal trainer for 6 weeks… and I was told he will be calling me this weekend. I love the tanning beds…. and the fact it’s a 24-7 gym…. bonus for me.

So, today I plan on going to the gym at about 6:30, which will probably kill me, then there is a class tomorrow at 9:15 am, and I am going to check that out too…. I will have to keep everyone informed.

After I walked out the gym last night I thought about a friend, @curiousillusion, how has your gym experience been going?

Well I have so much to do to update everyone… but hey … I am still half asleep, yet really excited about the gym!!!!!!!

“I love my big ego….. ” LMAO

So it went from I have two months to I am moving in 5 days, don’t you just love how life works out. In between my classes just starting I have been packing, trying to find new car insurance (those bastards raised my rates), study and stay on top of my Algebra ( cause I really suck at it), trying to find a storage unit that isn’t trying to rape me…. UHHH! As if working and raising two kids by myself wasn’t enough. Don’t get me wrong, I am soooo not bitching, just Moving…. UHHHHH!

I also have to try and have the cable transferred.. it’s just madness, and if you knew how much stuff I actually have, WOW! I have a 3 bedroom house, a huge laundry room and also a storage area that is over flowing with stuff, I have a lot of crap… the up side is I always lighten my load because as I am packing I generally just start throwing stuff in the garbage or giving it away to all friends that are around!!

I guess I have a few things that are important to me, but otherwise I am not materialistic. So I tend to throw everything away when I have to move… and I mever miss any of the shit, lol. My morning has consisted of calling places about stoarage, also trying to get Chloe registered in school since that is right around the corner. UHHH! I need a vacation, wait… in the middle of this I am having one, lol. Saturday we are going on a beach trip and I cannot wait! So this is my life right now, and I am hoping to have it all in order real soon, where I can go home and just relax, at least for a couple months when I move out of my friends house and into my own apartment! BLAH!