I have been thinking about this post for a little while now. I think in life we take advantage of so many things on a daily basis. Things that we just expect to be there and things that we feel we are entitled too. This list will probably grow more and more, yet I just felt that I wanted to share this with you before the weekend came around. Most people are home on the weekends and this is when you are surrounded by things that you should  be grateful for.

We must realize one thing, and this one thing will humble you when you can accept it as the truth. We are not entitled to anything. There is that saying, “stop and smell the roses,” this is something that we do not do. It’s time for us to acknowledge things that we take advantage, from big to small!!

1. Waking up every morning – need I say more?

2. The beauty of the Clouds – next time you drive down the road look to the sky and appreciate getting to see them!

3. A smile from a strange – yes there are people out there that still care, are you one of them?

4. Getting a random text from a friend, they just wanted to say hi!

5. Having a job to go to everyday – we get caught in complaining about work, yet some people wish they had a job to go too!

6. Cell phones that do it all – come on, of course we take advantage of this, I have a application for yellow book to weather bug to online banking… I even have one where I can tickle Buddha’s Belly so he will laugh… I mean we really have everything at our fingertips!

7. Catching all the green lights on the way to work – it happens rarely but when it does be grateful!

8. A pen that writes really well – I know I appreciate mine!

9. Having a good relationship with your co-workers – this is very valuable!

10. Hearing a child laugh – music to my ears!

11. Reading a Good Book

12. Laughing till you cry – still one of my favorite things!!

13. A good mean – some don’t even know what this is like!

14. True Friendships that develop from Social Networking

15. Seeing the Sunset

16. An awesome Thunderstorm

17. Having a home to go home too

18. Being able to see, smell and hear

19. A good pillow

20. That one person that you is always there

21. Taking a beautiful photo

22. Holding a newborn baby

23. The warmth of the sun on a cold day and the cool breeze on a hot day.

24. The way things can just “fall into place”

25. Getting a birthday card on your birthday – you will appreciate this more when you end up not getting one

26. Having a reliable vehicle

27. Being able to walk

28. Dollar Stores

29. A significant other

30. Destiny

There are so many more things that can be added to this list… and if there are some things that you can think of let me know!! It’s time to realize that we are blessed with the big and the small, all the time!

So anyone that follows my blog can realize that I try to be a pretty positive person. I try to not let things bother me and I really try to keep a clear state of mind. Of course, I am not anywhere near perfect or enlightened. I take all of the Dalai Lama’s words to heart when I read his books and I try to mold myself to a similar way of life, but again I still give in and mess up.

Last night was the first night of classes for me. I have been attending Kaplan University for a little over 3 years and I am in the home stretch of the first degree. I went to log into classes last night and my account was disabled, so I called the school and they informed me that they didn’t recieve my financial aid, oops… cause I forgot to fill out for 2010-2011. So it would fixed in the morning once I got everything worked out. When I got to work I did everything I was supposed to and called the school. I was informed that I was being “dismissed” as a student.

So lets take a moment to explain that Me + College Algebra = MU*^&F$#%&% B*&*H (there’s a freaking equation!!) Anyways, so you don’t think I am a complete moron, I did have a 4.0 almost the whole 3 years, until me and Algebra met. So I failed it… twice… and now I am dismissed!!

Do you have any clue how I felt at that moment, sitting at my desk, while working fighting the tears and feeling like the last 3 years was wasted. So much ran through my mind like a heard of cattle getting loose. What am I going to do? How will I start paying these loans? Is this going to screw my financial aid?

I remember the man on the other end telling me I could take Algebra somewhere else and pass with a C and have that transferred to Kaplan and they would allow me to re-enter. So I began looking at local and online options. (Still with a huge knot in my chest). I truly felt like a tragedy just struck me. I sent a couple emails and looked at a couple websites and I stopped myself…

BREATHE! EXHALE!

The world did not just end, and there is a way to make this right… I tell people and friends all the time that things can always be worse. I also preach that things happen the way that they are supposed too, we may be surprised, but destiny and fate are two things that can’t be changed, so how can I preach this to everyone else and not practice what I preach!!

So the moral of this story is that my initial response was what anyone’s would be, yet I stopped myself and I stepped back and I extinguished everything long enough to make the best out of my situation, within an hour, I am enrolled at another university, financial aid is switched, classes start June 22nd! Not to mention that I can work straight through to the PhD in the same location and classes are about $800 cheaper per class. For the next couple weeks all transcripts will be transferred and I will have the  graduation date for my Bachelor’s, so needless to say it took a moment, but I stopped myself from thinking negatively and I made it a positive situation.

I know that when I tell people that they are only as happy as they allow themselves to be, I am being 100% real… I did it myself today!

So I will leave you with two final words… Be Inspired!

To me a person that dwells on a situation is equivalent to a form of self mutilation. Yes, I know that sounds a little harsh, but sometimes you have to learn to shake it off and move on. It is what it is! Will dwelling on a outcome that you are unhappy with make it any better? (Did you actually have to think about that?) NO! The outcome will still be the same except all you are doing now is swimming in a pool of misery.

Think about an outcome that didn’t turn out your way, if you dwell on it, it doesn’t change what it is but it creates a hypothetical jail cell in your mind. No matter how you try and tell yourself how you were wronged it simply will not change the bigger picture. Think about the amount of wasted energy that you put into something that you cannot change. In life all you can do is take your destiny… process it and roll with the punches!!

This is just a thought, do with it what you will but I say ENJOY LIFE… STOP WASTING IT AND COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!!

Happiness is all in how we perceive our lives!

It is only 9:39am, yet I have already had two talks with people close to me, to help them through worries, doubt and life issues. I am happy to have been the one that they turned too. One being one of my best friends and the other a family member from Florida. I can only hope that I really made a difference in the way they are feeling. Yet, these two conversations helped to realize a couple things. First off, I think that me going to school to be a Psychologist and Therapist must have been a good decision , and about what people  need.

I am just as guilty as the next person to buy a pair of shoes or clothes… or anything, because I tell myself I need it. Truthfully once you have it that rush from buying it dies down pretty quickly. So I am not really talking about material needs (or wants, cause that’s what they really are.) I am talking about things that a person really needs. I am sure that an actual needs list could go on and on forever, yet I compiled several things that I think people really need.

1. To hear they are beautiful.

2. To know someone believes in them.

3. To know someone, somewhere, had got their back.

4. To know how to crack a smile through the tough times.

5. To have someone they can call when they are the loneliest.

6. To believe the world is generally a good place.

7. To receive a smile from a total stranger.

8. To believe in themselves.

9. To have that person that can make them smile when they are in tears.

10. To know they have encouragement no matter what!

To sum this up people need support. True and pure support. What people don’t need is friends that only support them when they make the decision that the friend thinks is right, or support under specific conditions. We need to know that someone cares about what we are doing and that there is people that when they think about us, they think how strong we can be. We need that! It is always good  to know someone believes in you, even when you begin to doubt yourself. So be that friend to someone and in return I truly feel like you will have that one person there for you, that one person that will say the right thing when you need it!

In many ways there are things that are damaging to our lives, things that can wreck havoc on our future, success, happiness and relationships. There are so many things that can cause harm to one of these things, yet there is one that really stands out. Lies, they are harming to those that tell them and those people that receive them. People that resort to lying are regular people. Scientists say that we start lying at the age of 3 and we master it by the age of 5. But doing more research about lying and why people lie I found that people that tend to lie, lie more to themselves than they lie to others.

Lying is linked heavily with self esteem issues. Therefore, someone that lies a lot generally has issues with themselves. I found this to be very interesting. Generally my kids will lie to avoid punishment, and as a parent you know how to read between the lies. Just as they learn how to lie, we learn how to read those lies. But it is a little more difficult when you are talking about adults, and why? I think it is because adults have had more practice, more time to perfect their lies.

Once you get to know a person you know when they are lying and if you have that gut feeling, then most likely you are right. Researchers have found that men don’t lie anymore than women, and vice versa, yet men tend to lie to make themselves look better and women lie to make other people feel better. I found that information very interesting. I wonder to myself if that is because women naturally have a maternal instinct, so they feel that they should protect people from things if they are able too.

Despite the reasoning for lying, it hurts people and ruins relationships and happiness on many different levels. So I wonder if someone loves you and they claim they don’t want to hurt you, why do they lie? Most will say it was to protect your feelings but in the long run they hurt your feelings more than they would have if they were just honest in the first place. Another things that drives me crazy is “not telling” you about something… guess what withholding the truth is lying. If there is something pertinent to a relationship or situation and you do not honestly bring it out into the open then you are being deceitful and realize, deceit and lying are sisters, brothers, shit even cousins!

Why I am ranting about this… who knows. There is a good chance we are lied to everyday by someone. This fact annoys me. I must say in thinking about this topic I found some great information on detecting lies. The same information and facts that the police and investigators use to tell when someone lies. I think that this is great!! As I read the information I realize that anytime I have suspected someone lying to me, these tips and tricks to reading lies confirmed my suspicions. So I want to share the information I found, study it… become a human lie detector… cause let’s face it we don’t deserved to be lied too!

Signs of Deception:

Body Language of Lies:

• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.

• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.

• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction

• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says “I love it!” when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.

Interactions and Reactions

• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.

• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.

• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content

• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”

•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn’t do it” instead of “I did not do it”

• Liars sometimes avoid “lying” by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.

• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you… they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.

• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.

• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other
words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:

• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.

• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.

I usually do not post on weekends… yet I wanted to share just 2 words with you today, be mindful of them and let them flourish throughout your day…………..

Be Inspired!

See you tomorrow!!!

As human beings we generally have a lot going on in our lives. Without suffering we would not have a way to appreciate and measure the joy of happiness. This is something that is very important to remember when those tough times come your way. We all have issues and things that bother us and sometimes it is hard to keep it together. Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed gets to be a lot and we are not robots so we fuss, cry and sometimes just plain want to give up!

When you feel this way, this is the best time to set your problems aside and slip into someone else’s shoes. When you do this you will have a greater appreciation for your problems. Are you thinking, “Is she Mad??!”, who appreciates their problems? Well hear me out, everyone has problems, but sometimes when all we do is feel sorry for ourselves because we are down about our issues, it is important to realize how much worse it could be.

I chose this topic thinking of one person in particular. She is one of my best friends and she has a lot going on. But before I go into what I wanted to say about her and some of her battles, I need to let you know that there are two more stories that popped up this morning that really and truthfully highlight this topic. The biggest thing that you must remember that no matter what you are going through in your own life, you should always have real true empathy and compassion for what other people are going through!

So as I already started to jot down what was on my mind to post this, two situations came into light. First of all let me tell you that I have been suffering from some chronic pain and haven’t been feeling well for awhile now, although I don’t let it keep me from enjoying myself, it sure does stink!

Now again this topic came up with thoughts of one of the greatest people I know. She has a lot on her plate, she is going through relationship issues off and on and also some work related issues. Even though her plate is full she still laughs and has fun whenever she can. She still has her low periods, but she doesn’t let them take over her mood or her life. She still smiles all the time and if you call her to vent about something she doesn’t throw what she is going through in your face, she listens and cares regardless of her situation. She still sees everything she has to be grateful for even in the midst of a mess! I love this girl, and she deserves the biggest shout-out there is.

As I was thinking about her and what a great person she is another friend of mine popped up on Twitter and Google Talk. She shared with me that she just found out she had diabetes. That is definitely some news to get. This made me think wow and I have some back pain,  but I am blessed that otherwise I have my health. Of course we discussed about her taking better care of herself and she admitted that she wasn’t surprised because she hadn’t been taking care of herself. Now she intends to buckle down and make some changes. I told her maybe the diabetes is really a blessing, because now she has to focus on her health! Sometimes what one sees as a horrible  thing can be looked at the motivation to do positive things! Her point of view on the whole situation is positive and I am proud of her because I think she will do great!

After finding that out a co-worker came into the office, she looked exhausted, so I asked her what happened. She disclosed she hadn’t gotten any sleep and that she was at MCG (The ER here in Augusta) all night. We asked if everything was ok. She said that they have been there for this lady. Her husband recently went to prison and she has 4 kids and one on the way. Her older child has cancer and they are struggling big time. So the sick child had some issues. That’s why they were in the hospital all night.

So take a minute and think about all this, each of these people going through something, yet each story seems to be tougher as they go… when you slide on someone elses shoes your problems just don’t seem like such big problems anymore!

Have you ever known someone that always seemed negative? Didn’t they always seem unhappy? I have known many people like that. It seems like they always have bad news or they are always sick, depressed and plain unhappy with their life. In many cases we have negative thoughts throughout the day. Some people more than others. It is easy to get frustrated and complain about something, yet at the same time think about it like this, the way that we think is the key to how we experience the world.

Negative thoughts are actually more addictive than drugs. The feelings of worry, loneliness, fear, anger and sadness are all negative emotions. We are all guilty of thinking negatively. Realizing that changing our negative thoughts can really improve our life. The great thing about our brains is we can teach ourselves to change this which will bring more happiness into our daily lives and improve our health.

Thinking negatively can increase your blood pressure, it can cause depression and also a lack of memory. Better yet, did you know that by thinking negatively it can lower your IQ? By thinking in a negative manner it changes physiological characteristics of the brain and impacts our regular functioning. It blocks impulses from being properly transmitted between the central nervous system and the brain.

Did you ever think that saying “I can’t do this!” or “I hate my job” would wreck such havoc on your body and your overall health. It makes sense that if you think in a negative way then you will be less happy with your life, which should be enough, to want to change this bad habit, but to truly worsen your health by thinking and speaking a certain way, well that is a huge slap in the face. This is why I thought I would share this.

It is not too hard to teach yourself to start thinking positively!! I will share with you some tips to help you;

1. Become Aware: Recognize that you are having negative thoughts.

2. Label It: When you are having a negative thought say to yourself, “I am having a negative thought.”

3. Dump Them: Start “dumping” these thoughts! Imagine having a bucket of these destructive thoughts and dumping them over into the ocean, burying them or burning them in a fire!

(If you are more of a do-er then when you have these thoughts write them down on a piece of paper and save them up at the end of the day or the week actually burn them (but be careful please), shred them or stick them down the garbage disposal (-:)

Again, negative thoughts become an addiction! Being positive brings appreciation to you and your life! Not a hard decision to make if you ask me. Also, I know that sometimes a lot just seems to go bad, just remember that it can always be much worse you should be grateful for everything that comes your way!

I came to work today, yet in another “blah” mood. I would say that I am generally a happy person, which makes these moods even more frustrating!! When I started up my computer and pulled up my email, I had an email from a co-worker and friend, who is a very happy person. This email was great, and I wanted to share a little bit of it with you and also expand on happiness a little. But first, I want to tell you about my friend. Every day I can pretty much count on her cheery and happy smile. She really is a great person and I think that everyone should have at least one friend like her in their life. It really makes you feel better when you have such a positive person around you. I was also thinking that it really isn’t hard to be positive just like her!!! I am a pretty positive person, yet I am human and I have those ups and downs often, but after reading her email and furthering onto other subjects that were on the blog she forwarded to me, I started thinking that we choose our happiness. I have also been reading a book by the Dalai Lama called “The Art of Happiness” and so this has been something I have been really reading into a lot recently… so the pieces just started falling into place.

As I said, and I want to say it again, WE CHOSE OUR OWN HAPPINESS! I think people take the events in their life and if they are hard, tough or negative things that they are going through they settle with the common belief that they cannot be happy because of their “situation.” I don’t believe this. Although it is hard to be postive in the middle of something trying and tough, it is possible and with a little practice it will be an automatic response. There are things you can do everyday in the midst of a good day or bad that will bring peace into your life. There are things that you can incorporate into your life that will bring the positivity to you.

And please don’t sit there and say, “I just don’t have time!” If that is what you are telling yourself I am going to call it, Bullshit! I work full time, raise two children and attend college full time, not to mention I have to do all the motherly and womanly duties of the household, and during the right season we can add being a soccer mom in there, there isn’t an excuse. There is laziness, there is also procrastination but neither of these things have to keep you from happiness, unless you allow them!

So I will post a list of little things that you can incorporate into your life to bring a balance of peace and happiness, add one to your day or 5… shoot do them all, but they are going to make a difference if you are committed to being a happy or happier person. People get lost in their everyday life, don’t get pulled away by the current, swim against it, enjoy what you can!!

1. When you wake up in the morning, don’t jump out of bed and rush, lay awake for a moment, stretch and breathe.

2. Eat breakfast, sit down and eat something feed your mind and your body, even if you grab a granola bar, just take the time to eat without shoving food in your mouth while being on the “run”.

3. Take a longer shower: Give yourself an extra 5 or 10 minutes to enjoy!

4. On your way to work/school/where-ever make a list in your head of everything you are grateful for… this list can grow every day!

5. On your lunch break take a walk, sit out side, go to a park (I do this and the days I go to the park are the happiest days I have during the week).

6. Read happy news…. yes there is a lot of suffering out there, but read something good… happynews.com, dailygood.org, tonic.com

7. Take deep breaths throughout the day and smile for no reason!!

8. Office Yoga… yes do stretches at you desk when you are having a long day (we do this in the office, and it is GREAT!)

9. Slow down, there is no need to rush yourself, you can only do what you can when you can!

10. Don’t take things too seriously… need I say more?

11. Compliment Someone: Just sharing kind words with someone everyday will brighten their day and in turn doing that for someone will brighten yours!

12. Laugh, do I need to explain why?

13. Take the time to stop and smell the flowers : What I mean by this is not to literally stop and smell all the flowers you see, yet stop to appreciate everything around you, experience the beauty of life, you can find it no matter where you are!

14. Yoga, Meditate, Stretch: At the end of your day spend 10 minutes to unwind, you will see a huge difference.

15. Enjoy Friends and Family : Even if you cannot hang out with someone, or if you are a single person call someone have a short conversation with a friend or family member. If you have a family or kids color one picture with them, read one book!

16. Read or Journal : Before you go to bed, this will help you get ready to relax and drift off to a great sleep!

Try to incorporate at least one of these things into your life and you will find it becomes something you start to look forward too!

Thought of the day…

What type of world would this be if there was no suffering? Many would probably say that it would be wonderful, yet I disagree. Although I would never wish suffering on anyone, without it we would appreciate the good in our lives a lot less.

Not everyone believes in karma, yet I am a strong believer. It is not as plain and simple as “What goes around comes around,” but that is the general gist. Not only are your actions part of a karmic circle but so are your thoughts and intentions. Thinking ill will also consume  your life. How many of us think ill of others, or have, with utter disregard with what may come around and cause us some sort of suffering due to our own actions or negativity!?

It is very true that people that have a negative outlook all the time always seem to have something “bad” happening to them. Then we have those friends that seem like they always have something good going for them, and for the most part they are pretty happy people. This is not just because what they have, your mindset and the way you think really does play a huge part in your life.

If you do something that appears to be a loving, caring or compassionate gesture, yet in your heart there are ill intentions, this will bring back negative karma.

All religious beliefs aside, is this something that you can disagree with?

 ”The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities — warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful — happier.” -The Dalai Lama